This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
