I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
