VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
