dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
