There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize