I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
