Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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