the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
it's like iHOP with fire
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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