I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
