So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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