So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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