dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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