Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just cut my nipple shaving
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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