It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
