You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
