Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
