Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
