1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
