i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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