You really coming over, don't trick.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
