Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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