how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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