i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
foreskin is a definite game changer
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
