i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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