We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
