so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
