i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
