Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
