I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
