driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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