I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i out mim tonsoeep
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