I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
