Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
