you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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