zippers are such a cool invention
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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