The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
sex in a hospital.. check
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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