so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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