the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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