you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
