I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
