Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
