The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
