he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
