Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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