I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
