VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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