and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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