Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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