is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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