He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I understand Curling. That high.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
