Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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