you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
