Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
