lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
