people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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