how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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