areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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