My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
