And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
