Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
