But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize