Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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