I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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