Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
