Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
