her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
