I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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