How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
