Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
